Tuesday, April 28, 2015

3 Years


So much to say! This week was really awesome! It certainly was full of ups and downs emotionally. Truthfully, what I would like to share more than anything this week is my testimony. 

Today we went to the a national park called
"Parque Ecologico de Chapultepec". It was incredible
As I mentioned, there have been just a lot of ups and downs these last few weeks. A lot of things have come at me really fast. Between all of the things that we are expected of as missionaries, trying to organize things for after the mission, things happening that are out of my control, the love and support I recieve or don't recieve from those I love, and just daily things I have felt so heavy. I have felt like I have a lot of things pending and I can't get on top of a single one of them. It's just getting into the hot season here but when I say just getting into the hot season I mean the heat came all in one day. It's is so hot and there are days when we just walk and walk and walk. 

The Kim, 3 years ago, would have already fallen into a panic attack. I would have probably been taken to an emergency room. That Kim, would have already called her dad or her mission president saying that she couldn't do it. That Kim would have just stayed in her room and cried. But I am so humbled to say that that Kim doesn't exist anymore. 

I am so imperfect. I haven't completely overcome my anxiety and stress. But in these last 3 years the Lord has done a huge miracle in my heart. He has changed it. I am so weak, I am tired, I am nervous but He strengthens me in all of these things. This week is so special for me. Tomorrow I complete 3 years as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I didn't know even a third of the things that I know now. I don't think I knew anything. The one thing I did know was that this is the path that the Lord told me I had to take. I look back at who I was and I was so very different. I look back at my first days in the mission and I look at now and although the in between was rocky and hard, I have been able to overcome so many things thanks to the mercy of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I just had the willingness to accept and He gave.

I have come to understand that the Lord invites us to come unto Him but it's only and invitation. We must choose to accept it or not. We must choose to accept Him in our lives or not. But when we accept Him in our lives He guides us. He does. And He just loves us. 

My efforts in the mission field aren't perfect. I make so many mistakes. Some days are better, some are worse. There was a day last week when it was just so hard. Saturday. We have been fasting every weekend to find families. We were fast Saturday and it was just so hot. My mouth was so dry that my lips started to crack open. There wasn't shade anywhere. And in my head I was just miserable and just telling myself how awful I am because I was thinking and feeling this way. I thought, "You have to fast with joy in your heart and faith in your steps or it won't work." We got to the job of an investigator and she gave us water. In Mexico, they get super offended if you don't take what they offer you. We drank it and I just felt even worse afterwards. 
Our district leader sent us a pizza as a prank...
because he didn't pay for it.
And our bishop is super rad! Mexico :
We got home and talked to our district leader and explained and he said we could do our prayer again and start again. In my head I was murmuring, "well that just doesn't make sense." I was just being s negative. We expected so many other investigators and they just didn't come. We have been working with a part-member family and they still hadn't showed up at 1 so we called and they said "don't worry sisters, we are right around the corner!" As we watched them turn the corner we saw the son of this mother, white shirt, dark pants, chucks, and his hair parted on the side with a huge smile on his face. I wanted to cry in that moment. We didn't think he would come. We invited someone from off the street to join us, so when church started we had two investigators. I was just grateful for them. I said, "Lord, this is fine with me, just let them progress and feel your love please." Just as we were about to shut the door fr the first prayer I looked over and saw that and old investigator that we worked with for a long time was walking in and I just was so stoked. 
We called him the night before to invite him. I really love him and his family. He said he would try with his family. As he walked in, we saw behind him his wife and his three children. Later, the wife of the brother who came with chucks also come when she told us that she wouldn't. In the first prayer, I had a small tear fall of just true humility. My efforts are so meager. I am so imperfect. But the Lord is perfect, and loving and works miracles in our hearts. I want more than anything that these people accept Christ in their lives so that they can also have this miraculous change of heart. I don't deserve to see these miracles. But the Lord just loves us. And He sees the desires of our heart. He sees that although I am so weak and so imperfect that I truly desire to help these people, even though my desire is so meager. I am just humbled. 
Sister Diaz. Less active in the process of activating. I love her so very much.

These have been the best three years of my life. I know that if we truly desire to obtain what the Lord wants for us we must accept the restored gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives so that His atonement can purify us. His ways are so much better than ours. He just wants us to progress, even if that progression is .15 everyday, that's still better than yesterday. I invite all of you to accept Jesus Christ in your lives. Let Him dominate all that you are. Let Him be the center of your lives. Trust Him. 

I love you all so much
98 Days

No comments:

Post a Comment