I have made some huge changes in these last few weeks. Well, I have tried. I say I have tried because I really haven't done anything but the Lord has done everything. I feel very different. I have been trying so very hard to put all of my confidence and faith the Christ. I have asked Him to give me strength to do things that I never thought that I could. He has blessed me in so many ways. I only have 6 months left. I have looked back at my time in the mission and feel very content. I see errors and imperfections. But I also see the huge change that the Lord has made in my heart. I know that I could have given more at some points or that I could have done something better at other points but I just feel grateful because this whole time I know that I was just giving the best that I could in those moments. And I see now that my best is still getting better, that although it's been up and down, it's always been going up. I have been blessed so much. I feel so grateful. I actually know what gratitude for blessings feels like. I realized a while ago that I was so prideful that I didn't even feel grateful when something happened. But now I just feel such utter gratitude. I have made changes here in the mission that I could have not accomplished in any other place. Maybe my reason to go on a mission in the first place wasn't so great but the Lord works in very odd ways to help us go where we need to go. He is so loving. God and our Savior Jesus Christ love us so very much. His plan is a plan of pure love to help His children come back to Him. I am really not sure what waits for me when i get back in six months. I know what I would like but I am giving up my wants and just letting God do what He wants with my life. I have made some decisions to help me let Him make of my life what He wants. They are small changes and decisions but are things that I think will help me put my life in His hands. I just feel different. I am just so grateful.
So I guess with that said I just want to leave my testimony. I know that this Gospel is real and true. I know that the Book of Mormon is pure and simple and testifies of simple and small restored truths that are one hundred percent necessary to be able to give our lives up to God. I know that what waits for us is what should motivate us to work harder every day. I know that Christ IS THE ONLY WAY. I love this Gospel. I know that as we come to understand it line upon line, precept upon precept, we learn things that we never thought that we would and it changes us in a way that we never thought we could change. I know that the happiness of our lives depends on the love that we do or do not choose to give to every single person in this world whether "they deserve it" or not. BUT EVERY PERSON IN THIS WORLD DESERVES LOVE. And if God loves us being the sinners that we are then why should we choose who does or doesn't deserve our love? I testify that Christ live and that He works in our lives daily. He is waiting to receive us with arms opened very wide. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I love every single one of you. Thank you so much for supporting me in this time in my life.