|This is Lizeth! Born in El Salvador, raised in Canada and |
dating a Mexican from Cuernavaca, Morelos, Mexico! I love her very much.
|This is my other friend named PENELOPE! |
She is so huge and so loving and I just love her!
Well, I don't have anything to say to foreshadow what I am about to say about the last week so I am just going to spit it out. Things have not been easy. I feel like there is truthfully something between my companion and I. I don't know how to explain it really. She is very hard and I mean that in a spiritual way. In these last weeks I have tried so very hard to help her. Truthfully I just don't feel like she ever opens up to anyone. I feel that she doesn't let anyone in and this is super hard for me because I love to just talk about whatever and get to know someone and all of that. Well she has told me stuff, that's true. I know about things but you can talk about things but it really doesn't mean that you have built a spiritual connection.She has expressed to me a few things about her past that are difficult to get over and I feel like YEA WE HAD A BREAKTHROUGH but then it goes back to normal. I feel like I personally have been putting a lot on my own shoulders. I take responsibility for everything. I have felt overweighted with STUFF. It's been stressful for me because I am thinking about a lot of things all of the time. the majority of the things that I think about are things that I have to think about and that's ok but I feel like I am the only one worrying about them. I have literally thought in these few weeks, "ok I can't handle anything else." Dramatic, pathetic, contrite, and hopeless. That's how I would describe these thoughts in the sense of how I felt towards them. When I thought these words they were accompanied by feelings of deperation and giving up. That statement that I ssaid to myself is 100% true. Why? Because I can't handle it all by myself. I just can't. So this thought should have been accompanied by feelings of humility and dependence on the Lord.
To be honest, i think I learn more in my letters home to you guys because I have to sit myself down and put everything together. I am truthfully so small and weak, and that's ok if I recognize this and let it humble me. I am constantly asking God to help me throughout every single day and He has helped me. I couldn't have made it throughout this last year without Him. Many of you know that I was ready to throw in the town after the first weeks in the mission. But He has strengthened me. He has humbled me. He has loved me. He has made me an instument in His hands in many occasions. I am not worthy of these grand blessings because I am so inadequate and imperfect but that just shows the nature of our Heavenly Father. He will go through hoops and bounds to help us. He has saved me.
|Ok, I am going to Narnia....|
I love you all so much. I pray that every single one of you with strengthen your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ in this day so that you can be lead and changed by Him. He is mighty to save.